Love and gratitude

Well, I guess it was supposed to happen. Like Master SeeFu (spelling?) on "Uncle Panda" (my 3 year olds title for Kung Fu Panda) says, "there are no accidents".
This last week was realy hard for me. Last thursday I ended up getting sick in my lungs, and it completely drained me of my energy. One of my daycare kids ended up staying home from our house because of pink eye, and that completely stressed me out too. When things stress me out that bad, I tend to either have a burst of determination, or a huge negative lack of energy and nothing gets done. Well, with being sick I ended up not getting anything done that I normally would have to clean things up to prevent the pinkeye in my own home.
I did get better quickly though, and had a great day on my birthday (tuesday), and enjoyed yesterday as well, but I noticed my one year olds eyes looking a little pink eyeish last night. I prayed that it wouldn't turn out bad and that her eyes would be clear in the morning, but I could sense that it wouldn't turn out the way I wanted it to, so I decided I would just try to get some rest, so I would be able to deal with things the next day.
So, I woke up this morning, and her eyes had become more red, and she had a realy runny nose.
I ended up getting 5 kids, so 7 all together and it must have been to much for me. I ended up turning into a basket case, and cried for half the morning, because I just didn't know what to do!
I ended up leaving Kimmy in her crib all day. I just brought her food up to her, and changed her up there. She was o.k., but I felt terrible leaving her, and I missed having her cuteness around me. 2 of my kids were able to go home before noon, which was a huge stress reliever, and I am hoping and praying that they don't end up getting it, for thiers and their parents sake. I ended up feeling drained and depressed so I didn't do much. Then my husband got home in the evening so I made an after hours appt. for her so I could get her some antibiotics. I was hoping that knowing she wasn't so contagious would calm me down and help me get through stuff, but I must have attracted a lot of negative energy, and subconsiously needed something to happen to teach me a lesson or two on not getting overly stressed.
I was a block away from the doctors office, when a police car headed east flipped his lights on. He was stopped at a red light, and I was heading north with a green light. Everybody kept going, even when I braked a little to decide whether I should just go through or not. When everyone kept going, I decided I would just keep going, but then the lady in front of me decided to stop and I ended up hitting her. Hard! Everything happend so fast that any decision made during that time, was confusing. I got out and we both were just in shock at what happend. The police flipping its lights on at the intersection threw us both off, and even after we hit, 4 other cars kept going past us. I think the worst part is I guess my drivers liscence expired on my birthday and I still thought I had a few months left, and our new insurance card didn't get put in the van yet. I was so blessed that I didn't get cited for anything.
I hurt my foot, but it will be fine. I bent my toe back while hitting the brakes and at first I thought it was broken, but now I am sure I just spraned it a bit. My baby was just fine too, and didn't realy even cry from it. She was asleep and it woke her up, but she was soon pulling purell wipes out of a little box I had and thinking it was hilarious and had a cute little smile on her face.
I had a realy hard time feeling happy earlier today with all the stress, but I guess I learned a lesson not to stress myself so much because it just attracts negative energy and then other not so fun things happen. I am sad my van is broken and I hope we can salvage it. I love my van!! I am gratefull that life is still going on, and that peace is around me now. I know things will work out, and I feel so blessed that the police and the woman I hit weren't mean people, and they understood everything that happend. I am gratefull for the witnesses sticking around to make sure the police knew the story and circumstances. I get to call our insurance agency tomorrow and the tow truck to get the rest of it taken care of, but I know it will be o.k.
Well, I better get some sleep so I can have a happy day tomorrow and get things taken care of, so that once again our home will be filled with peace and happiness, love and gratitude. : )